1.) You E-Stalk Him On The Daily
Seems harmless at first, a little check up here, a little f-ck were you doing this weekend snooping there, but this is really a half-assed version of letting go. Like a recovering alcoholic who insists on visiting his favorite bar just to gaze up at the liquor bottles. This habit will most certainly lead to subconscious glorification and guess what else? Obsession. Woo, what a word. I’ve most definitely been guilty of this in the past and it can take painful self-discipline, but remind yourself to be the stalker of your own damn life. Scrolling his Twitter feed everyday for subliminal messages is not a high-paying gig mi ladies.
2.) You E-Stalk His New Gal On The Daily
See above, multiply danger level by 10.
3.) You Mainly Refer To Him As “That *Insert Emasculating Expletive*”
If behind closed doors you keep titling ol boy with an emasculating moniker, it’s only going to make it that much easier for an audible b-tch bomb to drop when he’s in sight. Plus, how can you ever allow someone to grow out of being an a-hole, if you can’t stop referring to them as such?
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