Uncircumhigh: Confessions From Women Who Dig Their Ds With Foreskin
Take the dick and get over it. It feels good, just doesn’t look good…
Two Friday evenings ago over some damn good wine, a friend of mine shared a story about how she finally got down to unbuckling her dream man’s, greedily at that. But when she finally tugged off those boxers, she had to choke back horror when his dick popped to attention donning a headscarf. She froze up and made up some sh-t about getting her period. Sigh. Deep in her pretty little soul, she almost believed this thing would lurch at her face, swallowing her alive. Which sounds like an ill time to me, but I digress.
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VLOG PSA! 3 Assumptions That He Wishes You’d STOP Making!
My guy friends often complain that ladies always think a guy can read their mind. I agree. I’m very big on being direct. Well, usually I am but this summer I got caught out there crushing on a potential cuff. I stubbornly didn’t want to initiate the “what’s up with you and me” convo and expected my flirting efforts to be good enough for him to know what the deal was.
Not the case at all. Luckily my boy Jamar was there to chat it up with me and share some insight. Thought I’d continue the convo on camera for all of you ladies who risk the chance of experiencing this little dating hiccup like me. lol
Check out my newest vlog: 3 Assumptions That He Wishes You’d Stop Making. Smh. Don’t be a victim. Watch the clip friends
Lessons From Ocho: 3 Desperate Apology Moves You Should Probably Ignore
Chad OchoCinco is a curious case. Obviously, the man got the blues. After losing his job, his lady, and the security of a lucrative future the only thing this man needs to complete his one-man pity party is a harmonica and a pet gray cloud. As if his display wasn’t sore enough, in an act of mourning, or perhaps reconciliation (again, a curious case) the man with the iron clad forehead recently tattooed quite the ghastly gesture on his leg, a portrait of former wifey, Evelyn Lozada…POST divorce… Interesting…
So much to say here. So, so, so much. I too am forced to rub my forehead in response to this man’s behavior. However, even in the rubble of confusion that epitomizes this man’s life and recent actions, one thing certain prevails: He’s sowwy Kinda makes you wanna curl that bottom lip huh? But is an apology, or even being sorry enough? Guess that question can only be answered by the Juliet being serenaded to. What can be answered for however, are the reachy apologies that we should all ignore, or at least stand hella stoic on until its double packaged with some serious change. Feel me?
So yeah, let’s start with the obvious:
1. A Calf Muscle Tat
Although I’m sure a high level of investment went into the homage inked on the man’s leg, it’s seems to be lacking the most important part of an apology –emotional investment. Like I’m sure it hurt, and he did it because he felt bad, but does it deliver a promise of sincere change? Negativo. Typically chicks usually go gaga over grand gestures…
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Ok. So I wrote a recent blog titled “WWMD vs. Single Black Male: Are Groupon Paid Dates A Sure Deal breaker?“ and the men weren’t too happy about that one. Their argument: “Why does it matter how he pays, at least he’s taking you out!”
To each its own, but as I’ve mentioned before, everyone is entitled to their preference when they’re dating. You are the only one that has to deal with the circumstances that you have created and if you aren’t cool/comfortable with a guy using coupons on your 1st date then set the standard and stick to it. He may not like your standards but he’ll respect them and not waste your time.
Disclaimer: I was mostly referring to restaurant Groupons
Anywho. What the guys failed to acknowledge was the fact that I provided other wallet friendly dating options. I’m not so concerned with how much he spends on me but more so the efforts that were put into this date. How important is it to him that he leaves a good impression on this date? Am I just another date or one that he is truly excited to be out with?
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Love & Lust Tip #32
For someone whose mouth is usually stuffed with expletives, two days ago Kanye West served me some sweet cuss I just couldn’t swallow. In a now suspiciously deleted tweet, Yeezy confirmed that he wrote a tender song called “Perfect Bitch,” about you guessed it, his perfect girl bitch, Kim Kardashian. Who in an act of perfect appreciation, reportedly told her not-so perfect bitches that she feels honored by the title.
Right then and there, I really should’ve ordered my eyebrows to calm the hell down. Because truthfully, just a year ago if you were fearless enough to tug at my earbuds, it’s likely that my double-digitth blast session of Kanye and Hov’s “That’s My Bitch,” may have greeted ya.
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